Goblin

Awesome. As in "Goblin is Awesome. So awesome, in fact, that the word Goblin can just be directly substituted for Awesome." Bizarro rock combo that created some of the greatest gonzo film scores of the 70's. The First Degree in the Coolometer.

Batman

The World's Greatest Detective. Crime-fighter. Science-hero. Psychopath. Whether portrayed by Adam West, Kevin Conroy or Michael Keaton, Batman is so awesome, he's one degree cooler than Goblin, and just one degree less cool than...

Vincent Price

The coolest man that ever lived? No doubt. Film star, Poe-scholar, gourmet, art collector, vessel of evil! The only man who could live in both a House of Wax and a House on Haunted Hill, whether he was cranking out the Castle Crap (THE TINGLER IS LOOSE IN THE THEATER!) or pioneering 60's gothic with Roger Corman, Vincent Price is the absolute highest degree of cool.

Shark Movie

Derogatory term used in relation to any bad movie, specifically Jaws 4 aka Jaws is Telepathic and is following the Brody widow down the coast. Also: Mario Van Peebles.

Super-Intelligent Shark Movie

Term of Praise, used only in relation to the three good shark movies in film history: Jaws, Jaws 3-D, and Deep Blue Sea (super-intelligent, giant sharks with huge brains! Eating Samuel L. Jackson!) Also: Saffron Burrows in a wetsuit.

Rating System

Forget stars. Here at Totally Goblin 1 unit of cinematic merit =

One half of =

	Classic. The Highest Praise. A near perfect film.
	Great. A film that fulfills it's potential and leaves you satisfied.
	Good. A solidly entertaining film. Perhaps flawed in construction or light in content, but you get what you came for.
	Fair. You enjoy it, but you forget you saw it in two days.
	Poor. If your are bored and don't mind disappointment. Check this film out.
	Bomb. Not worth your time.